Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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