Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
