Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my being single is dangerous.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
