Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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