i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
