You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
