We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
