Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
