hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
God I need to hump something, right now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
