My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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