At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
