First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
