Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
