My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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