i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
