If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
