im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
They took my balls.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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