he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize