I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
This baby is an asshole
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
