Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
