dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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