i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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