drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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