He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
