Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
