Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
