What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
