oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
