Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
