Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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