...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
