yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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