at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
