I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
