Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
