I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
