Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
