you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
