Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
