Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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