Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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