Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
