he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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