I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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