I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We smell like vodka and hangover
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