oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
