If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
