is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
