I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
