you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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