New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
