My balls are so social today.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
