the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
