If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
they're like a gay fantastic four
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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