He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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