so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
