i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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