my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
