Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I got inside last night via doggy door
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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