And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
